I’m sitting in a very interesting place right now. Maybe a crossroads, you could say. I guess I have been waiting to talk about what I am thinking about, not quite sure how to say it. So I’m going to take a stab at getting the conversation started tonight.
There’s this little thing called doubt. It’s sneaky, pervasive, and has a way of just shutting down your passion and fire, for whatever it is you’re passionate and fiery about.
Obviously for me we’re talking about my walk with Christ.
I doubt, way more than I would like to admit. I don’t always understand the promises. I don’t always feel His presence. I just doubt Him sometimes. It’s easy to when the things that culture has made you feel entitled to are not brought to you, and you wrongfully equate God’s blessing with marriage or success or any of those things. That’s why prosperity theology sucks and why I speak against it so much.
But that’s beside the point. Here’s how I see this. I would guess that approximately 100% of the Christian population has experienced doubt. You have some folks that would say they have never had any doubt about anything. I would question whether those folks have seriously sought Christ… unless they have way more faith than Peter or Paul who both doubted in the Bible then they’re in denial.
Others focus on their doubt so much that it almost becomes an idol. I’ve been to a church like that, where doubt and struggling with unbelief almost pushed worship out of the picture.
I obviously don’t want to come down in either of those camps. Like most things with our faith, there is a balance that exists with Scripture. But these lingering doubts that crop up are very serious and need to be addressed.
Why?
I believe they truly affect whether we are saved or not, and I believe they affect the influence we wield for Christ in this world. And thus the crossroads.
Jesus says ‘In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.’
Everything he has.
Interpret it the way you like. Literally everything? Willing to give everything? Any way you slice it, Jesus is saying that everything in this life put together does not touch having Christ. It’s all rubbish next to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ. Having Christ is the only thing that matters.
So when you have issues with doubt, following this passage is very tough. The temptation is to cling to the things. To cling to what you see. To pretend that Jesus doesn’t say the things that he says. And the result is what I see around me… a city full of lukewarm people who say they are Christians, but don’t count the cost of what following Him means.
In the book of Revelation I believe Jesus speaks to those lukewarm people, in chapter 3
To the Church in Laodicea
14 “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21 To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”
I really believe if the doubts that riddle me were taken from me, I wouldn’t need or want nearly as much stuff. The stuff keeps me from Christ. The stuff gets in the way.
I chose tonight to come home and read my Bible and write this blog, rather than watch the Browns play on national television. I did it because football, much like money, overwhelming amounts of things that you have to do, cars, houses, etc. all takes that time away when we can really see Christ, feel His presence, commune with Him. I’m really glad I did.
And that’s something small.. but I want to look over the next few weeks and months at what I can give up out of my life that takes my time away from seeking Christ, who should be goal number one. And to serving people in His name, which should be number two.
I’m at a crossroads because I hear what Christ is asking from me. I hear him saying it’s time to take this to another level. I hear him saying it’s time to clean some parts of my house. I feel like hundreds or thousands have stood where I stand, heard the questions, and shrugged their shoulders and walked slowly away, like the story of the rich young ruler. The shores of Christianity are littered with the bodies of those who were extremely zealous in their faith but couldn’t stick with it when they found out what the cost truly was. Those people now are shells, walking around in hopes that God has a place for them, but they put their fingers in their ears long ago until they could no longer hear His voice, because the words they were hearing made them too uncomfortable.
I hear the shouts. I want to hide.
But I don’t want to be lukewarm. I don’t want to get spit out. I want to truly experience my Savior. Not just lip service…
And that’s where I am. What it means and how I get there from here are other matters entirely. Stay tuned!
Entries (RSS)