I took one of those trips last night.
When I was little, me and my cousin would hang out. He showed me heavy metal and rode on a motorcycle with me. I felt like we were going 100 MPH! It was probably like 20…
I saw him last night. It wasn’t the best circumstance for a reunion.
His mom is passing away. My great aunt. My mom’s aunt/best friend for years and years.
My mom’s earliest memory was Shirley carrying her to a storm shelter and falling and breaking her arm. They were nearly inseparable for much of their childhood. Shirley and my mom met Jim, her husband, at the same time. She’s been as big a part of my mom’s life as anyone.
Alek is 3. My mom was 3 then. Now she is 60, and Shirley is 64. Time is rude and it doesn’t stop for anything. As I played on the elevators and escalators with him tonight I couldn’t help but draw the natural lines. I see myself right in the middle of it all. Not quite young, not quite old. Just starting in so many ways, so experienced in others. I think it’s all enough to make your knees knock together.
Those quiet, sad nights when the smell of the hospital room seems all too familiar… those are scary.
You know… they’re not though.
I prayed a lot last night with mom by my side. I prayed for a miracle. I prayed that my mom might be able to shoot the breeze with her again, to talk about old times. Maybe she would get up and dance with the nieces and the new Dora toy. Maybe I would catch up on the time I lost with them being in one city and me in another. Maybe next time I’d be able to recognize them all. Maybe if there was just one more day.
But there’s not really one more day. And that’s ok. Because that mindset of finality is a thing of the past.
You can run away from mortality. I know I do, literally. But it will catch me and it will catch you. And the question that will not go away for me is, what is waiting there? What is waiting there???
Philippians 1:21
Christ means everything to me in this life, and when I die I’ll have even more.
For to me life is Christ and death is profit.
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Revelation 2:7
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.
John 14:2
2 In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
I once struggled with death and sickness. I had panic attacks. I had crises at age 14, 16… bad dreams. Growing pains dad would call them. I was petrified of my mortality.
I can’t and won’t say that it’s not kinda scary still. Or that I’m happy go lucky at the hospital. I’m not. But Christ is in control, and He will return for you. He will come back for you. There is more than a broken body in a bed, a soft whisper of breath, and nothingness. That isn’t all there is. To live is Christ… and live that to the full! Fill your life with Christ, as he fills your life with Him.
And then, when that day does come… you will have a room prepared for you. No brokenness, no sickness, no death, no tears, no sadness…
God Bless You guys.. I am praying for you.
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